Creative Exploration

Meditating every morning has really been helping me focus on the root causes of things that have manifested in my life. I've discovered some genuinely interesting stuff.

I was talking the other day about looking back into childhood memories and that continues. Yesterday was the 6th anniversary of my mother's death. Boy time flies. It doesn't seem possible that it could have been that long.

It was different this year though. It seemed to me that many, many amazing things happened yesterday. Almost like she was closer on that day. It's almost ridiculous that thought, because that's impossible. She's as close to me each day as I allow, so maybe it's because I'm more open to her on that day, remembering. I'm going to remember more often.

One of the thousands of things my mother did for me was introduce me to the writing of Richard Bach. I was a "tween" I think when I first read Jonathan Livingston Seagull. Then maybe 13 when she gave me the book, Illusions. It was a time in my life when I was heavily into creative exploration. Art was my thing. I was painting and drawing all the time. I was also listening to music and being pretty reclusive. (ahem.. kind of what I'm doing now.. lol)

Then once I got into High School and became involved in activities and friends, cars and jobs, I let all of those creative things fall by the wayside. Partly because I didn't like the art teacher at the high school. I did begin to write then, short stories for classes I was taking and some poems and lyrics.

So when did it stop? I've always appreciated music and art, but that's not really being creative.. that's admiring creativity in others.

At this point, getting back into it is a little challenging. A doodle here.. a couple a notes on the piano there.. It's almost like I'm holding back for some reason. I'm going to try really hard not to do that.

I think that my new diet has giving me some clarity that has been missing for a long, long time. Without a form of expression, a human is missing something. Unfortunately for me, I've let fear keep me from expressing myself up until now.

It's liberating to realize that shame and humility are useless. When you allow yourself to express these things in your life, you are trying to limit the limitless.

It comes mostly from what we've learned in our lives. Times when we weren't accepted, or even admonished by our parents for some "wrong" that we did. The things they taught us were what they were taught was "right". When you shed light on these things, these teachings, you will find the limitations of your beliefs.

I know this post is all over the place. But I'll end with this quote from Illusions by Richard Bach.

"Argue for your limitations and sure enough, they're yours."